Online Forum Reaches Out to HIV-Positive Asian Youth
Pacific Citizen, News Feature, Caroline Aoyagi-Stom, Posted: Oct 13, 2007
It started off as a simple case of the flu but 21-year-old William Ching's symptoms weren't getting any better. On a hunch he decided to go and get tested for HIV. Within days he received the news he had been dreading: he tested positive for the virus.
For the next few weeks William, a senior at UC Berkeley, stayed locked up in his room barely able to eat or sleep. Thoughts about his mortality and a future cut short filled every waking moment.
"It was a complete shock. I'm still trying to cope with it," said Ching, who learned of his status this past July. "I felt alienated too ... from the gay community and the Asian American community. People don't talk about it."
But dread soon turned to resolve and William started scouring the internet for support and understanding amongst his peers. Surely there were fellow HIV-positive APA youth who were dealing with the same struggles?
Sadly, he couldn't find anything. Although there was a profusion of information on getting tested and prevention, it was largely directed at an older, white audience. True, there were APA groups dealing with HIV/AIDS and some youth sites but there was nothing combining the two.
"HIV is still viewed as a gay, white disease," said William.
He soon heard the same frustrations echoed by some of his APA friends who were HIV-positive. It was the impetus William needed to launch the HIV Youth Project (www.hivyouthproject.org), an online community forum and support group for HIV-positive APA youth, women, and communities of color.
"I want to put a face to HIV, that APA youth are not invincible to it. It happens."
A Second Coming Out
William's homosexuality wasn't a secret; he had come out to his family and close friends a while ago. But when he learned about his HIV-positive status it was information he kept to himself initially. But the disease has a way of becoming a large part of your life.
The hardest part was telling his family.
"It's been more like a second coming out process. I have to live with it for the rest of my life," he said. "It made my homosexuality more real for [my mother] ... but it also brought her closer to me."
One of the first people William confided in was his friend Henry Lao, 23. Henry had disclosed a year earlier that he had tested positive for HIV. Ironically almost a year later, their roles had been reversed.
William and Henry had both interned at the Asian & Pacific Islander (API) Wellness Center in San Francisco and had learned a lot about HIV/AIDS in the APA community. It was an irony not lost on Henry.
"I felt like wow, I am a statistic," said Henry, a recent UC Berkeley grad, of testing positive in August 2006. "I am the people I've been trying to help."
The API Wellness Center notes that from 2000 to 2004 the HIV rate among APIs 18-29 years old in the San Francisco area rose from 2.6 percent to 3.8 percent. Health officials in the New York area have reported new cases of HIV have increased by a third among those under 30 and has doubled among teens in the past six years.
Like William, Henry had a hard time finding resources for APA youth when he was first diagnosed. He tried to attend a few support groups offered by the APA community but most of those in attendance were older men. Why wasn't there a support group for him and his peers?
With the HIV Youth Project, Henry hopes he has finally found one. In between his full-time job at a youth homeless shelter, Henry is volunteering his time helping edit the online site. Although the project is still in its infancy, they're already working on a new design and hope others will contribute their stories, even if it is anonymously.
"Being HIV-positive can feel isolating. This project validates our existence, that we're not alone," said Henry.
The HIV Youth Project is also starting to attract some much-needed volunteers. Albert Huang, 24, learned about the site from the popular Angry Asian Man blog and now the recent UCLA grad is helping with editing and posting.
"I really feel like young people have different concerns; the APA community has a different cultural background. Young APAs want to socialize with people with similar life experiences. But there's no way to find each other right now," said Albert.
"We ultimately hope to build some sense of community."
Telling Our Stories
One of the first contributions Henry made to the HIV Youth Project was to post his personal story of living with HIV. He found it cathartic, especially since he still hasn't disclosed his status to his family.
"This helps me, my own coming to terms. It's been a real catalyst for me," he said, acknowledging that this article may be the final push he needs to tell his family.
It was a little over two years ago that Henry and a group of his closest friends decided to get tested for HIV; Henry was the only one who tested positive.
He took the news surprisingly well.
"My reaction was pretty calm. I felt very disconnected," said Henry.
Although he hasn't come around to telling his parents about his HIV-positive status, all of his closest friends know. He's also started his own blog to deal with the plethora of emotions that often surround this disease.
Henry and William are largely asymptomatic right now. They are living the typical lives of college students. Although William has cut down the number of classes he is taking at Berkeley, he hopes to eventually raise a family and attend law school. William plans to further his education, eventually entering the public health field.
Both have now introduced their stories through the HIV Youth Project, a very public coming out ceremony about their HIV-positive status. They hope that by telling their own stories others will feel a sense of comfort and security about discussing their own status.
"We hope to create a community and open up a dialogue. That you don't have to feel shameful. It's an acknowledgment that there are others like you," said Henry.
"This site is as much for me as it is for APA youth," said William. "It's a site run for youth by youth."
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