Dinlan Wang
Original letter in Chinese, Submitted to We Chinese Magazine
"Letter Home" Essay Contest, Posted: Mar 31, 2005
We were already retired from work when my husband and I immigrated to the United States.
Our children who lived in California worried about our health and not having them around should we get sick. They urged us to move to California so they can take care of us better. What they did not understand was that we were having a relaxing and meaningful retirement life after having worked in Beijing for decades. However, to reduce our children’s worries, we reluctantly agreed to move to California.
California is an undeniably wonderful place. It is environmentally clean, beautiful, and the weather is great. First we lived with our son and daughter in-law in Los Angeles. To entertain us, they took us to many places and to eat at various restaurants. That had kept us busy and occupied for a while. However, when the dust settled, and our children resumed their busy lives at work, I felt a great loneliness in my life. My husband had it a little better, as he had always been an introvert, and could settle down anywhere as long as he had his books. I, on the other hand, used to be a grade school teacher. Professional habit and my personality dictate that I love to chat, interact with others, and play with children. Unfortunately my son lived in a quiet suburb of Los Angeles, far away from the hubbub of downtown. It is supposedly one of the safest communities in America. There was hardly anyone on the street during the day, and when night fell, people stayed home and watched TV. There was no interaction with neighbors. In Beijing, my husband and I used to take walks in the parks in the morning. At the park, we would encounter people practicing martial arts, dancing, showing off their caged birds, and chit-chatting. There was always a sea of people, full of sight and sound which made me very happy. After breakfast, we would go straight to a senior recreational center. I was learning Chinese painting at the senior center, and my husband calligraphy framing. We worked well together and even won prizes for our art pieces. I was training to be a professional traditional peony painter, but all that changed because of the immigration.
I had a really hard time in the first two years adjusting to living in America. I had lost my old friends from China with whom I shared similar interests; I had lost my long-established lifestyle; I had lost a goal to strive towards, and had no way to express my talents. Not knowing how to drive, I was not able to go anywhere in Los Angeles. Not knowing English, it was impossible to watch TV as it simply amounted to me staring at the TV screen. I lamented on the irony that all these riches could not buy me the comfort I felt at my humble home in Beijing.
My low mood and frequent insomnia had lead to physical problems to my heart, digestive system, and joints. I became weaker by the day, and my family was worried about me. I became a regular at the hospital, and one of my visits there was in an ambulance. The funny thing was that the doctors could not detect anything physically wrong with me. I often ended up coming home after all the hassle of getting there.
I eventually came to the conclusion that something had to change, as I was going down a slippery slope. Since I was not going home to Beijing anymore, I decided to make an adjustment to better my living situation. First of all, my husband and I decided to move to San Francisco and live with our daughter. In San Francisco, we found a large group of people from China in our age group. Familiar language and cultural background made us immediate friends, and we always had a lot to talk about. My daughter also introduced us to an artist who migrated from Taiwan, who specialized in peony painting. My daughter sent me to learn from the artist twice a week. I was tired and stressed initially with the changes. However, I was very happy with the arrangement and improved fast. It wasn’t too long when my painting was put on auction and was bid for $200 by a bearded American. It was such a pleasant surprise. I immediately donated the money to a local grade school. As far as the language barrier, I also gave myself a goal. I went to San Francisco Chinatown twice weekly, to an English class especially set up for seniors. I also attended English classes at adult schools. It was fun to make friends with younger people from all over the world. Now watching TV became a means to study English, and is no longer meaningless. Although it is very hard to learn English, and it is not likely that I will have significant improvement, I enjoyed the learning process. I became so passionate about learning English that I would often initiate a conversation with Americans. We understood each other through words, sign language, and smiles. Of course I made quite a few funny mistakes along the way. My husband teased that I was a learning addict, but he also admitted that I learned more then he did. Nowadays my husband and I lead a busy life. It requires a lot of energy, but since I am feeling happier, my health improved despite having more work.
Now it has been ten years since we moved to America. We are well into our senior years. Our bodies have aged according to the laws of nature, but we are lucky to be still healthy. More importantly, we have adjusted to life in a foreign land, and found joy in living again. My daughter enrolled my husband and me into a ceramic class at the city college this fall, and I became a college student in America. My husband and I are like two kids playing with clay and mud, and having a great time with younger students. We had often forgotten that we are indeed old!
I want to really thank my children for their love and care. Thanks to their efforts, my husband and I are experiencing another meaningful chapter in our lives filled with both challenges and enjoyment.
Dinlan Wang
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