What My Recruiter Never Told Me
New America Media, Commentary, Aimee Chabot, Posted: Jan 17, 2010
Editor’s Note: A U.S. soldier in Kosovo negotiates the minefield of a woman serving “in a man’s world.” Aimee Chabot condenses a series of actual events from her year-long deployment into a story about one day for the Veterans Workshop, a New America Media writing project for military veterans.
Aimee Chabot, Photo: Antonio Maristela
The sergeant first class in my office is playing Katy Perry's “I Kissed a Girl” for the 18th time today. It always puts his boss in a bad mood, which makes it that much more likely that he'll spit his chewing tobacco in my trash can.
The general's personal security has just notified me that they have spotted two of our high value targets at his press conferences twice now and they need a threat assessment before the general can go out again. The sergeant starts the song again and says, “Hey Chabot, I'll pay you $50 if you sing this song at karaoke tonight.”
I ignore him as I realize that the intelligence team that I need to get hold of has left their phone off the hook, usually a sign that they’re off chasing the female Albanian interpreters around the post.
I head to the higher security compound of the Analysis and Control Element. As soon as I enter, the other soldiers know that I'm there for the missing intel team.
“We haven't seen them today,” they say before I can ask.
I head back to my office to call the subordinate units for their reports to add to the threat assessment. I'm greeted by the sergeant first class with another proposition, “Hey Chabot, I'll pay you to dye your hair blonde.”
My boss, just returned from a three-week mission in Germany, has noticed the new sign I have hung above my desk. It's an old World War II recruiting poster with a cute girl in a sailor outfit exclaiming, “Gee, I wish I were a man! I'd join the Navy!” The male soldiers in my office don't appreciate my jest at their masculinity.
I have to go down to the battle desk, the main intelligence and operations center, to give a threat update to the general's personal security. As I’m leaving, I'm stopped by, “Look at this picture I found of Chabot on the Internet! Chabot, you need to put some clothes on!”
Burning with embarrassment, I rush to the computer. But it's just a photo of me in a tank top and jeans while on leave in the French Riviera.
I make my way down to the battle desk, and the stadium seating makes me feel like I'm walking into a coliseum to be fed to the lions. A platoon leader from one of the battalions is there, and I groan, knowing he'll have some new line for me. He starts asking me about the new Nikon camera I got before going on leave, and then asks in a hushed whisper if I'll send him some photos of me.
One of the new civilian analysts walks by and notices that the pocket on my thigh isn't velcroed shut and decides to pat it closed for me. My mouth drops open at his audacity and I ask a female sergeant on the other side of the desk, “Who the hell is that?”
I finally run into the intel team and find out that they've been at a press conference in Macedonia. They take the threat assessment to deliver to the general's security and I'm relieved that it’s no longer my responsibility.
Back at my office, my boss asks me if I want to go to a press conference at the Kosovo Force Headquarters the next day with the Army’s public relations team.
“Sure, do they need me to drive or what?”
“No, they're taking the Blackhawks and had some extra room. They just wanted to see if you'd want to go.”
I would never turn down a ride in a helicopter. Later, the lieutenant colonel in charge of the mission comes by my office and I thank him for inviting me.
“Oh, well,” he says, “we all agreed that you were the hottest person in the building, so it made sense.”
He laughs loudly as if he’s just said something hilarious.
Well aware of his seniority over me, I turn back to my work nauseated.
I'm getting ready to leave for the day when a sergeant from the liaison monitoring team stops by to ask me if I want to go to dinner. I look around at the faces in my office, knowing that I'm going to hear about this tomorrow.
“Have her back by midnight!” the sergeant first class says.
But I tell him I have homework, I need to call home, I'm not hungry -- anything to get out of a mess hall date.
I bundle up against the biting Eastern European cold and walk quickly back to my room, keeping my distance from the bunkers. Intended as a place of refuge from enemy fire, they instead were recently the site of an attempted sexual assault of a U.S. female soldier by a man of the same uniform.
As I walk, I grip the Beretta on my hip like a security blanket, and the heavy magazine like my teddy bear. It's nights like this that I hear the Army again telling me that I'm “a girl in a man's world.” I finally get to my room and sigh with weary relief at the sound of the door locking.
The author deployed to Kosovo as an intelligence analyst from 2008 to 2009. She is now a university student and continues to serve in the California Army National Guard.
Related Articles:
Heartbreak on America’s Frontlines
Haunted by 40 Months in Iraq
Terror in a Cloud of Dust
Conduct Unbecoming of the U.S. Army
When Shadows Danced Under a Fading Red Star
Page
1 of 1
|
User Comments
Lisa A on Feb 08, 2010 at 11:05:47 said:
Actually, we would be just as safe without women serving alongside men. Stupid comment Colleen.
Colleen on Jan 23, 2010 at 15:57:14 said:
Oh My God, did it ever occur to any of you that, prior to enlisting, Chabot, was not privy to the true harassment situation of females in the military? Or, perhaps, after enlisting and experiencing the harassment that Chabot DID report the harassment and she was informed by her superior that "that's the way it is."?
To You, JM, Thank you for the generalization of all Women in the military being "Whores and sleep their way to the top". I particularly like this generalization as it shows me that you clearly believe that Men are intelligent and Women are not. Clearly an intellectual.
To You, mandrews, "this treatment is everywhere" This is an accurate statement. However, we have laws governing Corporate America, etc. against sexual harassment, while the U.S. Military is a very difficult, if not impossible Institution in which to file and/or conclude a sexual harassment case.
To You, joey m, you are what a makes this Country, as a close friend of mine says, "The Land of The Free and The Home of The Stupid".
To You, JS, This Author, is not condensing an entire year of deployment "into a single day", rather, She is giving us an account of a "typical" day. Are all days like this? The Point of the Article is, more often than not, yes.
Sexual Harassment is a problem in all branches of the Military. When our Women in uniform have to hold their guns against our own Men in uniform, something is terribly wrong. This situation has been kept quiet by our Government for far too long and needs to be addressed.
The truth is, it is easy for all of us to sit here at our Computers writing our opinions about these things and becoming outraged about Women joining the Military when "they should have known better" when the bigger picture is: if these women weren't there along side the Men serving our Country, we may not have the opportunity to sit safely at our Computers writing our opinions about anything. Just a thought.
JL on Jan 19, 2010 at 12:38:01 said:
Okay. Really? This article is not saying that all men are jerks, but when you happen to be one of the only females on a deployment with several and it happens. At first everyone keeps to themselves and then after being away from everything you know and everyone you love, things tend to curb, and usually not in a good way. One of two things happens people get too friendly and do some really stupid things. Or you just can't stand the other person and do your best to tolerate the daily routine.
Now, I read all comments that have been made so far. Yes this kind of treatment is everywhere it's the real world. In the same light though I am pretty sure the female got the brunt of the punishment, not because she was female but because she was enlisted. Officers tend to get more of a slap on the hand unless it is a really serious offense, in which case they are punished accordingly. Now for all your "it's the real world, she needs to get over people" I only have this to say..soldiers are held in a higher status then just everyday people. So when someone joins you expect to be treated like a soldier, so when you are not (which seems to happens a great deal) it tends to push you out of having the feel of being part of a team. This in turn affects everyone around you. Males, you need to have respect for the women that are out there with you or at tolerate it if nothing else, or just over yourself. They are soldiers too. Females, you in turn need to make sure you give the same respect to your male counterpart as well as yourselves. Put plainly females if you don't respect yourself then the males are not going to either.
Demecia Rogers on Jan 19, 2010 at 11:02:45 said:
I am ENRAGED at most of the comments to this article! I have so many things to say about this that I will most likely forget some point that I wish to address.
First of all it does not matter if she was charged with an indecent relationship or not. That does not give any man or woman the right to come onto her or make inappropriate comments for any reason. Yes that kind of behavior happens in the "Real World" as you call it but not to the degree that it happens in the military. In the "Real World" it is punished. In the military it happens to be overlooked unless they just have to deal with it and then it is usually the female that gets the scarlet letter on her forehead instead of the man having any repercussion! If you think that us females should know this before joining you are living under a stupid rock! We think that women are treated with respect. That all soldiers are treated with respect know matter their gender or anything else. I have personal experience with all of this. When we were deployed men thought that I was open to their advances if I just looked in their direction. I am not saying that all women are innocent lambs but there is a huge lack of respect for women in the military in general. We are there to fight along side you men. I expect to be treated with respect just like I treat you with respect. I do not offend easily but I do expect some sense of decorum in the shop. I do no think that women or men should be more afraid of the people in the same uniform serving beside them than the enemy. I have been there and know how it feels. It is a man's world and I am not afraid to say that. The only thing I have left to say is that women will be in the military from now to the end of time. Since that is the case, the military needs to work on cracking down on sexual assault and harassment. It should be both men and women that they get stricter with. The military needs to make sure that there are proper outlets for soldiers to relax and unwind while deployed to help stop some of these situations.
JS on Jan 19, 2010 at 10:55:59 said:
Condensing an entire year of her deployment into a "single day" is an asinine way to portray the Army. This isn't her Army career. This is her listing any and all inappropriate situations she may have encountered during 12 months.
I spent six years in the Army as an enlisted soldier with numerous deployments under my belt as well as another two and a half years deployed with the military as a civlian. Yes, sexual harassment exists - both male to female and female to male.
And I certainly do not believe that a Lieutenant Colonel told a female NCO, "You're the hottest person in the building" unless the two of them had a more personal, friendly relationship that would allow him to say something like that as a joke, and expect it to be understood in exactly that vein.
This is not reporting, it is not journalism. It's shameful, it's disrespectful to anyone who wears the uniform, and it's a patently pathetic effort to gain readership by distasteful shock tactics. I'm very sorry that I clicked on this link.
Thomas on Jan 18, 2010 at 22:01:33 said:
I am angry. Angry that a woman in uniform serving her country has to endure such harassment. And angry that some readers would belittle such outrageous behavior, even suggesting that the woman is at fault. Talk about blaming the victim....
To "joey m": What did she think was "gunna happen"? I'm guessing that she thought she would be treated as a soldier, not as an object.
To "mandrews": This is not a "stereotype." This story is about the author's personal experiences. This actually happened. And to suggest that she shouldn't have joined if she couldn't "deal with the pigs...." Well, go back and read the title.
To "Marc B": Why on earth would you think that the SFC is gay? Because he played Kate Perry over and over again? Seemed pretty clear to me that he's nursing some fantasy. I'm also stunned that you would say that you had "little respect for females in the military because of their actions." This after reading a story about the despicable behavior of men? Man, you need to reassess. Writing off an entire gender, male or female, because of the actions of some is pretty lame.
And to "JM": Please, crawl back into your cave. Civilization left your kind behind centuries ago.
Karen on Jan 18, 2010 at 17:06:34 said:
mandrews- the behavior described her is NOT tolerated in Corporate America-- It may still happen- but it is not the norm. It is appalling to hear of an environment that harkends back to 50-60 years ago. and the comments by joey, JM, and mandrews make me despair that women in some arenas are not being allowed to do their jobs.
Tommy on Jan 18, 2010 at 08:47:02 said:
She's defending American values overseas while the idiots she works with display a shameful lack of those good values. The military is lucky to have people like Aimee Chabot who persist in doing the right thing despite being surrounded by people doing the wrong things. Great writing.
Marc B on Jan 18, 2010 at 06:44:26 said:
WOW! Not that I doubt your experiences, but I am appalled that the sexual harassemnt is so tolerated...mostly from their side, but also a tad from yours (the sign)
Could the NCO that asked you to the messhall been looking for friendship and nothing more?
Have you thought of reporting the sexual comments and innudendo? Is the SFC that plays "I kissed a girl" a homosexual? Sure sounds like one!
Persoanlly I have had little respect for females in the military because of their actions that I have witnessed...however a LT and a PVT have shown me that there are good female soldiers, who want to do the job and not "use their gender" to get out of work or get to the top with their sex.
Honestly you need to report the sexual harassemnt to your EO or Chaplin. (Chaplin will be confidential and can help guide you in the right direction!) Pull the sign and make sure you are in the right!
JM on Jan 18, 2010 at 04:17:59 said:
maybe women get treated like whores in the military because.... oh i dunno... 99% of the women in the military act like whores and sleep their way to the top! get out of a man's world and go back to being nurses! after seeing numerous women on my ship get pregnant just because they didn't want to get deployed, other women claiming rape with 20 witnesses (myself included) showing that she instigated the sexual activity, i'm sick and tired of women acting like it's all the men's fault.
uberlieder on Jan 18, 2010 at 01:14:38 said:
The "Gee I wish I were a man, I would join the Navy" is from WWI, not WWII.
mandrews on Jan 17, 2010 at 19:58:29 said:
If you can't deal with the pigs, you shouldn't have joined. You can't stereotype the military like that because hell, this treatment is everywhere. Corporate America, schools, hospitals, etc. It's everywhere. What do you expect? This is the world in general.
joey m on Jan 17, 2010 at 18:00:27 said:
well, shit, what did you think was gunna happen?
-->